Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
