My hair reeks of homosexuality.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
