You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
