haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
