This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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