id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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