just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
