dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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