I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
