Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My life is pants optional.
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