But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
