We're facebook friends in real life
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
