I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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