Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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