What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have aggressive nipples.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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