I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
