The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
