Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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