if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
