we're making bets on your personal life
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
