How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
