there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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