summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
