Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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