totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
