drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
