Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
