terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
