He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
