he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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