3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
