I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
