I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
