You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
