i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
