We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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