I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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