my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
