come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
