At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
