dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i believe in u and ur pee
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
