i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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