Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
