We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
