we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
