So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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