I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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