There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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