i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
