I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
