still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
