So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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