Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
