After last night, I could never be a politician.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
